That One Time Gaz Made Zim Watch The Human Centipede
by HideousBlob
Summary: for no real reason. ONESHOT. COMPLETE.


a/n: this is a really short zagr-ish oneshot i wrote in response to a tumblr prompt, it's pretty short and i wouldn't usually post this but i don't really like anything that's up on my account right now and i want to post something different lol

* * *

><p>"Ahem!"<p>

Gaz looked up. "Are you still here?"

Zim was sitting in the window, arms folded over his chest. "Excuse me. When we made this arrangement, it wasn't just for me to give you presents."

Gaz had thought he'd forgotten. He'd been quiet all month.

"This stuff isn't that good," she said. "I don't know if you're earned anything yet."

"Yes I have." He twitched his fingers in a 'gimme' gesture. "Give to Zim."

He looked stubborn. It might be easier to just give him something. "What do you want?"

"You promised me information," he said.

She pulled a movie off her shelf. "Here. Go downstairs and watch this. Dib's out spying on something."

Zim took the DVD case out of her hands and turned it over in his hands. "A movie? Really? I've seen movies, Gaz."

"I'll be your consult on the movie. Ask me about anything you don't understand."

He scowled and she thought for a minute that he would keep bugging her, but then he gave up and went downstairs. Good. Now she could look through the new stuff in peace.

He hadn't given her any weapons. He never had. She would have already told him this wasn't acceptable, but she had never seen Zim with a decent weapon… he might not have any.

That would be so dumb. She wasn't sure she could handle him if he was that dumb. So she hadn't asked. She wanted more of his stuff.

* * *

><p>A little while later she went downstairs. She didn't care whether or not he was actually watching the movie, she was just getting a snack.<p>

He was watching it. He was pretty quiet. What movie had she given him, anyway?

The case was next to him. The Human Centipede.

She sat down next to him. He jumped just a little bit.

"This is a documentary," she said.

"Oh, it is? Hm." Zim frowned. "What's, uhh… that?" He pointed at the screen.

"It's the human centipede."

"I see. It doesn't look like a centipede."

"It's just a name. Have you ever made a human centipede?"

"I have not."

"Why not? You could put Dib in it."

Zim blinked at the screen. "I… guess." He folded his hands together. "What is the purpose of the human centipede?"

He'd bought it. Gaz smiled a litte. She didn't expect to smile. She didn't smile often. It made her face feel weird. Not bad, just weird. "It's for science."

Zim leaned back, scratching the side of his face. "How many human centipedes are made each year?"

"Fifty thousand."

His back arched just a little bit and his eyes widened just a little bit. "I see," he said in a neutral voice. "And how are the parts selected?"

Gaz shrugged. "The loudest kid gets picked from each class."

"Uh.. huh. That's not a centipede. Centipedes are crunchy. And delicious. That's a human eating dookie."

Well, he wasn't wrong about that last part. "It's just a name."

Zim stood up and cracked his back with an obnoxious popping sound. She glared.

"I don't believe this is a documentary," he sniffed. "You can't feed an animal on its own waste. It'll starve to death."

She shrugged. He'd still believed it for way too long.

"I am leaving now," he said. "I have important work to do."

"Whatever. Look, next time, I need everything to come with its own power supply."

He groaned. "Everything has to have its own power supply! Gimme more weapons! I'm already doing too much for you. Goodbye, Gaz."

She punched his arm. He recoiled, squealing.

"Power supply!" she repeated.

"Fine! I'm going!"

"Bye."

"Goodbye!" He slammed the door behind him.

He'd gone out the front door with no disguise on. Idiot.

* * *

><p>He'd left, but now she heard his voice. He must have come back.<p>

It was almost time for bed. He had to get out now.

His voice was coming from Dib's room. She opened the door, ignoring the fact that it was locked.

Zim wasn't in the room. Dib had left a bunch of cameras set up, filming paranormal junk she didn't care about. One of the feeds was of Zim's living room.

"It was disgusting," he was saying to his weird robot thing. "It was revolting! Oh, I-" He turned away, making sick noises.

The robot laughed. "It sounds nice!"

"They were eating each other's excrement!" Zim shuddered. "Can you imagine? Being fused to someone's-" He gagged.

"Sounds fun!" the robot said.

Gaz sat down in Dib's computer chair.

Zim paced back and forth. The camera was set somewhere above him. He looked short and small. Like a toy. "I didn't let her know she'd rattled me. Can such a thing be real? What sort of sick mind conceives of such a thing?"

"But Master, you fill things with dookie all the time," the robot said. "It's fun."

"No, no, that's different," Zim said. He stood in the middle of the room, tapping his foot. "I must keep an eye on her, GIR. She's brutal."

"Yay!"

"No, GIR!" Zim seethed. He must feel the same way she felt when Dib wouldn't shut up. "That's bad!"

Zim shook his head and walked out of the view of the camera. She muted the speakers so they wouldn't wake her up.

They were going to have fun together. Gaz could tell.


End file.
